The Honest Life

A blog about living an honest life filled with success, happiness, struggle, and most importantly, LOVE!

Letting Go of Anger

I wrote the other day in a post that I’m like every other human being; I make a lot of mistakes. Yesterday, I lost my cool (Yes, I broke one of my quotes). I let my anger get the better of me in a situation where I should have stopped, analyzed the situation, and realized that it wasn’t worth my time or trouble getting that upset.

See, what happened (without getting into too much detail) is that I had a disagreement with a loved one who refused to see my side of the argument. I felt disrespected, hurt, angry; and no matter what way I phrased it they refused to acknowledge the way that it made me feel. So instead of just accepting the fact that we were never going to see eye-to-eye, I pushed and pushed, hoping to shed light on the situation for them.

It made me think how far I’ve come in my life and how much further I have to go in learning to LET GO OF ANGER! It’s easy to stay calm, cool, and collected when everything is smooth in life. But when things don’t go your way, that’s when it becomes difficult to keep your cool. It’s an extremely difficult thing to do sometimes, but you’ve got to understand that learning to let anger go is a crucial part of living an honest life.

Stay calm. Stay cool. Stay collected. And never, ever, lose your cool.

 

With All of My Love,

Jack

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7 comments on “Letting Go of Anger

  1. Scott Charles Rogers
    August 18, 2012

    I was just pondering this same thing. At work, I feel some of my colleagues are being deliberately squirrelly to get out of doing some high level work. It made me see red, so much so I blew my gasket and caused the loss of professional face (a Japanese idea, but we totally do it here). I lost face, they gained sympathy, and everyone lost. I need to be more monk like and contain and then later dispel my unavoidable moments of rage.

    • thehonestlifeblog
      August 18, 2012

      Exactly, Scott! And that’s the worst part about losing your cool and letting anger take over; no one wins. In the end, none of us won in our situations. We just essentially made things worse for ourselves.

      How do you recognize that point where you’ve gone “too far?” Where you just keep pushing and pushing, but you’re getting no return? What do you do to back track and attempt to solve the problems before they get out of hand (while in the argument)? I’d love to hear!

    • Kairi
      August 20, 2012

      Crazy. I just got into an argument with my bf and I found your blog. He doesn’t understand that later on, one source of income won’t be enough especially if we want a house. How do I make a man understand he’s a …’man’ and has to take some responsibility too?

      • thehonestlifeblog
        August 20, 2012

        You can’t necessarily make someone into something that they’re not or make them do something they’re not comfortable with. But what you can do is have an honest conversation and talk to him about the future and what you need to accomplish as a couple. Good luck, and thanks for the reply, Kairi!

  2. indeliblelogos
    August 18, 2012

    When we are faced with a “stand off” of opinions, it’s difficult to walk away or let go when the other person doesn’t see things from your perspective. I said difficult, not impossible. For me, I’ve learned that when I won’t stop, when I keep pushing my point, that I’m really being selfish. At that moment I don’t care what the other person thinks or how he or she feels, I only care about them seeing things the same way I do. Why? Because essentially I feel I’m right and their wrong. I’m not valuing them or their feelings. And that’s so much worse than proving my point. So you have to ask yourself what’s more important, what’s the bigger picture? The answer hopefully is to display Love at all times and love is not self seeking but always looks for the best in others. So counteract anger with love and agree to disagree if necessary. Maintain the peace and keep the relationship in tact.

    • thehonestlifeblog
      August 18, 2012

      That’s a beautiful way of saying that, thanks for the reply! I completely agree. And I did realize that until it was too late. Are there an techniques or “tips and tricks” that you can share that you use when you realize that you’re doing that? I’d love to hear them!

      • indeliblelogos
        August 21, 2012

        Sorry for the long pause… I’m still learning how to maneuver on this website and I don’t go on everyday. But in response to your tips and ticks question, you know the saying “Practice makes perfect” well it’s true. Life will give you plenty of opportunities to work on your best practices. And so I’ve become somewhat of a Jedi Peace Master, ha ha!

        For me before I even begin a discussion I have to give myself a pep talk. I make a choice that I’m not going to get defensive and I’m not going to participate in an argument, that I’m going to use self control.

        Ultimately no one can make you do anything you don’t want to do. SO you have to ask yourself, “Why do I let my anger get the best of me?” And the truth is because on some very real level, I want to. I want to let off some steam or let the other person have it because I’ve taken too much from him or her. OR because they deserved it and had it coming. But all of those answers are still motivated from my own selfish will and desires.

        The real goal in any discussion should be growth, understanding and a deeper level to connect out of respect for one another. So in the heat of the moment, you can do any number of things; walk away (can’t have an argument with only one person) take a deep breath and see you and the person you’re with in another scene where the two of you are laughing and having a good time, I know this one sounds absolutely stupid but just as your about to respond, tell a knock knock joke, this will completely take him/her off guard and immediately relieve some tension. But for me what works best is training myself before the fight, by this I mean I read my Bible and remind myself that I’m an vessel of reconciliation.I build up my spirit so that when faced with adversity or conflict, my first reaction isn’t to react negatively.

        I think you said it best yourself, simply choose to Let It Go, release it. Holding onto anger leaves very little room for joy, happiness, peace. Holding onto that anger long after the argument has ended keeps it dormant just under the surface until the next opportunity comes along to reignite…

        Love is the strongest most dominate of all of our emotions, practice walking in love during peace time and you’ll find it easy tap into when you’re faced with a stand off… Hope this helps and Cheering you on in advance of passing your next test.

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